Quit Or Stay The Course?

I’m studying something that I don’t enjoy. I’ve been studying this subject for the past 3 years, and I’ve had enough. In the beginning I fooled myself into believing I enjoy it. All because my ex was in the field, and she, along with my parents, convinced me that it was a good idea. I don’t blame them though, as it was my choice and I wanted to do it because I believed it was what I wanted too.

I’m writing my final exam next month, and I’m so behind, and desperately trying to catch up, so I can pass and finally put it behind me. I was considering just quitting now already.

There’s a chapter in a book I read, Coping with BPD (which I reviewed here) on quitting work or school that I found particularly helpful. One of the suggestions is to review your long term goals. So mine would be to finish this part of the course so I can get my certificate and get a good job. It’s a means to an end, and if I just quit now, it won’t be consistent with that goal. I want to study Psychology, as it’s the one thing I’ve always found fascinating. The one thing I know is all mine… I’ve always wanted to pursue this field. If I can get a good job, I can start my journey down that path, doing my degree via correspondence, and finally fulfill that dream.

The other thing they suggested is to make a pros and cons list, which is a DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) skill. This is what my list looks like:

myproscons

I hate failing. And the thought that it’s a possibility for next month’s exam, is one of the things causing me to panic. But that panic is soothed a little when I tell myself that even if I do fail, at least I would have tried, and I have another chance to rewrite in November. I have to think about it this way, as it helps me to focus. Whereas the panic state diminishes my ability to focus and retain information. I heard a saying the other day:

“If plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters – 204 if you’re in Japan.”
― Claire Cook

So, I have decided to stay the course. Not for anyone else, but for me. I deserve to feel good about myself.

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15 thoughts on “Quit Or Stay The Course?

  1. Advanced Research Technology

    Fear is paralyzing. The opposite emotion is faith. Even if one does not pass the first time, there is always another pass. Good for you. I’m glad you’re pressing on. Once one goal is achieved, it will build a platform for many more to come.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like how you thought this decision through, weighed out options, and came to a decision in a very deliberate and conscious way. Especially when either decision isn’t without a con, good to be able to see clearly what you are choosing and why, to help get through when it doesn’t feel so good.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Chris

    Hello, Rayne, wow I am so proud of you for really thinking this through… One of the things that really gets me trigger is making decisions… But If you wanna make your dreams come true, you have to suffer a little. But in the end, you will find that it was worth it, so go ahead! 🙂 make your dreams come true. Psychology is such an amazing field. 😀 NEVER GIVE UP!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Chris. Thank you so much for your comment and kind words. I also don’t like having to make decisions… There just always seems to be so much pressure, and it can get really difficult. I tend to panic and get overwhelmed. I’m glad I’ve learned this specific pros and cons list, it seems to make it a little easier. It’s true what you said, sometimes we need to suffer a little bit or do things we don’t really enjoy, in order to fulfill our biggest dreams. Psychology is magnificent. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Chris

        My pleasure 🙂 I know how it feels to get this triggered. I need to learn to do that type of list, to really think about this, I don’t know about that type of therapy… Actually theres so much I need to learn… 🙂

        Like

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