Do They See Her?

Do they see that the girl who wants to take care of everyone around her, longs to be taken care of herself?

Do they see that the girl who is so strong and resilient, has a sensitive heart that breaks far too quickly and easily?

Do they see that the girl who’s a social clown, full of energy and spirit and longs for connection, is actually terrified of being with others and of getting too close?

Do they see that the girl who pretends something isn’t affecting or hurting her, is really falling apart deep down inside?

Do they see that the girl who longs to feel like she matters, feels insignificant and forgotten so often?

They can’t see it, because she doesn’t let them. But most of all, they don’t see it because they don’t take the time to connect with her. They don’t ask her how she feels, what she thinks, what she wants. She can’t let down her guard. When she does, they just don’t understand, they don’t even try to. They don’t know how much courage it takes for her to try to open up, only to have them shut her down.

But maybe, just maybe, one day they will see her.

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19 thoughts on “Do They See Her?

  1. Did you looked inside of me just now? Because you just described me. 100% I send you a huge hug, and remember if you want people to know you, you need to open up, there is a risk, because we don’t wanna get hurt, but that is life. 🙂

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    1. It seems a lot of people feel the same way, and while I’m glad you guys can relate, I’m also saddened by it. It’s not something I want anyone to feel. Thanks for your hug, and I’m sending you one back. 🙂 ❤

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      1. People lie us with BPD can relate a lot to how we feel, it’s sad I wish this illness would not exists at all, actually I wish there was no mental illness. But life is like that, so we either accept it or we fight it… I think I accepted it, but I won’t let it doom me.. ❤ 😀 huge hugs my friend.

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        1. Absolutely. The only problem is that I don’t see/hear from them often. Haven’t seen my sister in over 3 months and don’t know when I’ll be able to again. Thanks. 🙂

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    1. I’m feeling pretty shitty at the moment. Had a relatively good day, but this evening hasn’t been as good. Apparently I’m not good at expressing my emotions and am cold and distant. I was just told this by someone who I should let go of, but am struggling to do. Someone who tore into me with hateful and angry words, then did a complete flip and was nice to me again. Yet she can’t understand why I pulled away. If I could I would have told her I’m feeling confused, angry and hurt. But I didn’t. I’m too damn afraid of hurting her. I care too much, and it isn’t always a good thing as I’ve realized.

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  2. Would you consider this to be a co-dependent relationship? I’m not judging, I’m just wondering if there isn’t some controlling going on in the reaction. If this is the case, perhaps you’re already feeling it, but a little scared of letting go. Try to step back a bit and see it rationally. Is this good for you? Is this good for her? Sometimes, in order to rise, we have to let go of what is weighing us down, or at least move away where we can think for a time.

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    1. I’m pretty sure it was a co-dependent one. I left the relationship about 3 months ago, and we had no contact for a month. But we started communicating again afterward. I was thinking we could be friends, but I was so wrong. It’s not good for either of us, so I know what I need to do, and I’m going to do it. It’s a little more complicated as we still share a medical aid, which I can only cancel at the end of the year. There’s a few accounts that are still in my name, so we need to communicate about admin stuff. I’ve told her we need to get those things over to her, so working on that now. It will be fine. 🙂

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