Fighting For Air

This time of year, I feel the grief of everyone I have lost through the years. Too many people. Some gone too soon. Others leaving a broken heart in their shadows as they walk away.

Tonight is one of those moments of intense grief. Memories drifting through my mind. The pain and hurt proving that I’m still alive and breathing. Even though I don’t want to be.

I wish I could scream out loud. Swear at the universe. Instead, I scream on the inside. Because I don’t have that voice that allows me to express these emotions in as powerful a way as I feel them on the inside. So they remain there. Where only I can hear them.

These waves of grief wash over me. Pulling me under. Drowning me. But I fight for the surface. I fight for that elusive air.

17 responses to “Fighting For Air”

  1. I hear them. I silently scream too, on another continent. Life is really tough sometimes, and the grief and pain of a borderline hurts so much more. I hear you, and I wish you didn’t feel this 😞😔 Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am sorry you are feeling the grief as strongly as you are. This time of year certainly seems to make that feel ten times worse than normal. I am thinking of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sweet Rayne, the darkness has tried from day one to bury who you are meant to be. But you are strong! And an not be silenced! Look within, you KNOW who you are. Confusion has reigned supreme until now! You KNOW what todo, what to ask!

    Liked by 1 person

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