It’s So Dark

For the past week, I’ve been depressed most of the time. I can’t seem to shake it. I don’t even know where I am sometimes. I’m in a constant state of exhaustion. Feeling disconnected from everyone. I just want to be alone. It’s like someone else is living in my head, my body. Empty one minute, then in tears the next.

I’m thinking that maybe I should switch my medication, or increase the dosage. Because I can’t carry on this way.

I’m going to go watch a movie with Jasmine tonight. One that I’ve been so excited to see, and have been waiting months for. But now I feel nothing. I don’t even want to go tonight. But I’ll have to force myself.

I feel hopeless. I can’t see a future.

33 responses to “It’s So Dark”

  1. Oh Rayne, my heart goes to you. I wish I could come and sit in the darkness and muck with you, and remind you that you are not alone, and that no matter how awful it feels right now (and it sounds like it feels awful), that you can do it. And you are worth it. And we love and need you. xx. I am hoping that things look up soon – its been a difficult week. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As you know this is a difficult time of the year. Make yourself go tonight and enjoy the movie with Jasmine. Afterwards, you might realize that you are just a little happier. Take care, thoughts are with you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I felt this way. Last week and it was my first experience from what I understand depersonalization is and I DID NOT LIKE IT!!! So so sorry you are feeling like this.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hope will return. I know that it does. Every day is different and may just contain that hope you’re looking for. Hope IS around that corner. I know because I’ve been where you’re standing. I have faith in you. You will get through this ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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