And So It Ends…

Jasmine and I are done.

We had met up for coffee last Sunday. The first in months… Ever since Elizabeth and I started dating.

I thought things had gone quite well. We were even talking about my plans for my birthday next year, with her telling me she’d be there. After the meet up I sent her a text telling her that it was nice seeing her again, and asking how she had felt about it. I didn’t hear anything back from her until Wednesday/Thursday (can’t remember exactly) evening.

Her message was blunt and to the point. I’m not going to type the message out here (for anonymity’s sake), but she told me that we shouldn’t see or talk to one another again. I replied to her text, saying that I understand and will respect her decision, and wishing her good things for the future. But then I discovered that she had blocked me… my message didn’t go through. She had blocked me on Facebook as well. I get the whole “it’s over” thing, but am I a criminal that I needed to actually be blocked?

That’s when I felt it. “A slap in the face”, were the words used when Elizabeth was trying to help me give words to what I was experiencing/feeling in that moment. She was spot on with that one.

A slap in the face, followed almost instantly by that feeling of shock that numbs the pain of the sting. The rest of that evening I felt that sense of “what the hell just happened?”.

Waking up the next day, and even up until now, I feel nothing. The fondness and love I felt for her isn’t there anymore. The weirdest thing is that I can’t even remember anything about our time together (both as a couple, and then later as friends). I can’t seem to access the memories. There are no emotions. It’s as if she never even existed.

And this leads me to question whether I exist at all. Whether anything does.


7 responses to “And So It Ends…”

  1. Oh the feeling of the “block” I don’t know why that pisses me off so much. It’s like oh so you are somehow superior and you get the last word and you get the last choice. That’s just me though.
    I’m really sorry that she met with you and THEN did that. I mean if she wanted to end the relationship why not do it when you met for coffee. Why over a message that you could not find closure in. But maybe the closure will just have to be that her time is simply over in your life.


  2. From the perspective of someone who has recently ended a friendship and done this too… I said goodbye, let her say goodbye, thanked her for her understanding and then deleted her number and blocked her. Why? It’s mean right? Nope, it’s because I know myself well enough to know if the temptation to talk to her is there I will backslide into a relationship that’s not healthy. It’s maybe more about her boundaries and her need to stop herself than it is about her lack of trust in you. It’s hard but try to remember it’s her, not you xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • I didn’t actually think about that. Thanks for sharing this perspective. I feel a bit better about it now. 🙂 I miss her a lot though, but I guess our time has come to an end.


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