Adulting is Hard

Another project done and dusted. I made it through a tough job with the most difficult client I’ve had (so far). I thought I’d be over the moon. I usually feel good afterward. But this time? I felt nothing for the first couple of days, and didn’t know what to do with myself. And now I feel like a fraud. Like I don’t deserve to feel proud of myself for a job well done, because… well, I suck. And I’m not actually that good.

I suck at relationships, work, socially, etc. Basically anything that involves being alive. Why do I bother trying? All I want to do is hide away in a dark, quiet, small space, with tons of blankets (like I used to do, but have since adulted) and my Cuddly. Being a kid was hard, but being an adult is even harder, and I just don’t want to do it anymore. Having to pretend to be normal every day is exhausting.

20180625_225139
Cuddly – He’s super soft. I want a real one too, but have now finally given up on that dream.
Advertisements

16 thoughts on “Adulting is Hard

  1. These feelings suck. Everything you’re saying seems to be evidence that you are good at your job and have quite a few other good skills. However, I understand the impulse to hide away, because using those skills requires so much of you. You’ve earned yourself a break and some cuddling with that sweet stuffed animal. I hope these feelings pass soon xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I understand how you feel.No amount of work in the world or ‘being an adult’ makes up for the wound of not having comfort and a place of rest in another’s heart and hands. The world is getting colder and its only natural you want warmth,softness and comfort. A big hug Rayne. But i am sure you dont ‘suck’ as much as your inner critic may be telling you. Those who loves us anyway love us with all of our flaws. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Cuddly is very adorable.
    Being an adult is so freaking hard.
    I’m really glad you wrote about this.
    I was laying awake in the middle of the night after having awful nightmares just thinking about how hard it is to ACT normal on the days when I feel SO abnormal. It’s exhausting!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your post is so sad. Take care of yourself and allow the feelings to flow out. Adulting is very hard and we all want to hide somedays. Wrap up in a blankie and have a cup of tea…something comforting and self soothing. Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I read this after, not before, your next one. How quickly things change in our lives. Our only constant is change, something important for all of us to remember.

    Like

What's on your mind?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s