It still catches me by surprise how quickly my emotions can change from one minute, hour, week, to the next.
When I wrote my last post I was in a pit of despair which had rolled over me while doing light exercise. Everything just suddenly seemed pointless, and didn’t have the strength or energy to stop the spiral leading me down a dark road.
Once I’m in that dark place, most of the time I can’t even summon up the thought that it will be over soon. I forget that our emotions are like waves, they come and go. You know, the stuff we’re taught in DBT. In those moments it feels like it’s never going to end. That this is it. This is life. This is me. This is how it’s always going to be and there’s nothing I can do about it.
When I’m not in that place where suicidal ideation is so strong, then I remember that this too shall pass. Then I can see the waves and am more able to cope with the emotions rising and falling, crashing and calming.
Here’s to riding the waves.