2020, Can’t Wait to Say Goodbye to You

I’m so ready for this year to just be over, and everyone I’ve spoken with seems to feel the same way. Although why things will be different just because it’s a new year, has crossed my mind. It’s a new year after all, not a new life, or a new world. But telling myself, “it’s almost over” does seem to alleviate the burden somewhat.

It’s been a week from hell with things going wrong at every turn. A stroke of bad luck I guess. What is up with the universe? The thing I’m struggling with the most right now is that my car is no longer road-worthy. And with my dad having canceled the insurance a couple of months ago (Murphy’s Law) it’s just been one thing after the other. I had no idea that it had been canceled until I called him to find out the details of the insurance after that accident. I was pissed off! But it is what it is, and there’s nothing I can do to change that. My heart is broken though. I’ve had that car for over 15 years. I know it’s just a “thing”, but we get attached to things, don’t we? To my car, thank you for all the years you’ve given me, the escape I needed at times, the important events you got me to.

So Uber will be my main method of transport from now on, and that fills me with anxiety. My ex and I used to take Uber’s when I was too anxious to drive my car in the city. I didn’t like it, but it was managable having her with me. I have fears around being in a car with someone else driving, and add in a complete stranger, it’s doubled. Not to mention it’s expensive. But as long as I’m able to get to my therapy appointments, I’m happy.

My plans for Christmas with a friend have also been canceled, and there’s no one else, and no where to go. But I don’t really celebrate the day anyway, so I guess it’s not a big deal. I will watch my favourite movies and eat an entire peppermint tart by myself. I’m actually quite looking forward to that. In this time of Covid, no one can judge those of us who spend the holiday alone. It’s even the responsible thing to do, shock!

Stay safe everyone. ❤

Published by Rayne

Just a woman trying to find her place in this world. Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder, and writing about my journey through these challenges. "I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become." - C.G. Jung

7 thoughts on “2020, Can’t Wait to Say Goodbye to You

  1. We who are by circumstance, solitary have a unique advantage, in this trying time. It soothes my spirit to read of your experience. I find similarities in what I am going through, it is one thing after another. Let us keep becoming!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I actually got invited somewhere today but partly I think it can be more restful to spend the day alone.. I agree with you that life just seems to be becoming crazier and tougher.. sometimes i think he only healthy thing is to disengage.. sending love ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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