I’m so angry, I want to break and destroy things and certain people. My rage has been so intense and I don’t know any other way to release it in a satisfactory way, other than hurting myself. I haven’t seen my therapist in over two weeks, and won’t be seeing her tomorrow (and probably nextContinue reading “Under Again”
Too much pressure. Too much pain. Anxiety. Worry. One shock after another. One of my friends recently told me that I seem to have the worst luck. Ha! I try so damn hard. I try to be positive. And for what? For everything to blow up in my face anyway? For things to continually goContinue reading “Too Much”
I received an email this morning reminding me that my birthday is coming up soon. Well, thanks for that. But hey, they sent a voucher as well. For something that I have no interest in. And once again I was sent down a rabbit hole of existential angst. I’ve recently give my business a bitContinue reading “Time Doesn’t Stop Flowing”
Last week my therapist cancelled our session due to a personal loss. My heart went out to her. It was a strange experience. Usually a cancellation would trigger my abandonment issues. But this time all I could think and feel was an intense sadness for her. What this cancellation means to me didn’t even enterContinue reading “A Lifeline”
I started off good.Then came the panic.The fear.The fear happened. And they say fear isn’t the truth. Now I realize I’m not important.I don’t deserve the light after all. The love.I’m not good. I’m nothing.
I hadn’t realized that the clock had struck twelve until I heard the first fireworks go off in the distance. Alone, I had been in my own world again. That, exploring the universe in my mind, has marked the so-called holiday season and new year for me. There were two video calls with family duringContinue reading “Someone Isn’t Me”