Under Again

I’m so angry, I want to break and destroy things and certain people. My rage has been so intense and I don’t know any other way to release it in a satisfactory way, other than hurting myself. I haven’t seen my therapist in over two weeks, and won’t be seeing her tomorrow (and probably nextContinue reading “Under Again”

A Lifeline

Last week my therapist cancelled our session due to a personal loss. My heart went out to her. It was a strange experience. Usually a cancellation would trigger my abandonment issues. But this time all I could think and feel was an intense sadness for her. What this cancellation means to me didn’t even enterContinue reading “A Lifeline”

On Accidents, Trauma, and Fighting for a Better Future

In over 15 years of driving, I’d never had an accident. Sure, I’d been in a few with other people driving. But this time I was the one behind the wheel. It was after threapy and I had just taken my car for a desperately needed wash, so was feeling pretty good. It happened soContinue reading “On Accidents, Trauma, and Fighting for a Better Future”

It’s Not Okay

I shouldn’t be drinking wine (or any form of alcohol) when I’m on my own. Yet that’s exactly what I’m doing. There’s a sense of rebellion in it, and for some reason, tonight, that feels good. You see, I told my therapist I wouldn’t, yet here I am. I lied to the one person whoContinue reading “It’s Not Okay”

Getting Through Challenging Times

This past week has been a difficult one for me. There was another episode with the dad, one that left me feeling terrified and paranoid for days. My body and senses on high alert. The current state and chaos going on in the country and the world didn’t help with the paranoia. As the lockdownContinue reading “Getting Through Challenging Times”