A Lifeline

Last week my therapist cancelled our session due to a personal loss. My heart went out to her. It was a strange experience. Usually a cancellation would trigger my abandonment issues. But this time all I could think and feel was an intense sadness for her. What this cancellation means to me didn’t even enterContinue reading “A Lifeline”

“You Don’t Really Want to Die, You Want Connection”

Maybe my therapist is right. After all, why am I still here? Why am I still holding on? What exactly am I holding on for? Part of it is because I don’t have the courage to try to end things. The fear of failing and coming out alive but in a worse state terrifies me.Continue reading ““You Don’t Really Want to Die, You Want Connection””

In A Different World

Life feels strange these days. The world, a different place. It seems we’re all just trying to survive and not really living. I’ve been trying to keep a semblance of normality in my own life, but it’s not that easy when most things have changed. As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m now stayingContinue reading “In A Different World”

Getting Through Challenging Times

This past week has been a difficult one for me. There was another episode with the dad, one that left me feeling terrified and paranoid for days. My body and senses on high alert. The current state and chaos going on in the country and the world didn’t help with the paranoia. As the lockdownContinue reading “Getting Through Challenging Times”

The Strength To Keep Going

I had my usual therapy session yesterday. I didn’t want to go. I left later than I usually do, battling within myself until then. One of the reasons is because I didn’t want to set foot in that clinic again. I didn’t want to run into the person I mentioned in my previous post, orContinue reading “The Strength To Keep Going”