What Shame Looks & Feels Like

Can’t face the world. Want to disappear. Can’t face those you most want to connect with – wanting to push them away – already feeling as though you have done something wrong in the relationship and that it’s not fixable. Pulling away and disconnecting feels like the only possible thing left to do. Being inContinue reading “What Shame Looks & Feels Like”

Remembering Emotions As Waves

It still catches me by surprise how quickly my emotions can change from one minute, hour, week, to the next. When I wrote my last post I was in a pit of despair which had rolled over me while doing some movement and muscle exercises (sensory integration stuff). Everything just suddenly seemed pointless, and didn’tContinue reading “Remembering Emotions As Waves”

Emotional Rollercoaster

Early morning: Had a nightmare that my girlfriend and I broke up. Woke up with a sigh of relief “whew, it was only a dream.” A few minutes later: Wait, no, it wasn’t┬ájust a dream. A punch in the gut. Overpowering sadness and pain. Physical chest pain also present. About an hour later: Numb. Dissociated.Continue reading “Emotional Rollercoaster”