Tag: Panic

• I Want It To Stop

  The excruciating physical pain I’ve been in this week has subsided quite a bit. It’s not as unbearable as it was. But the emotional pain has stuck around. In my previous post, I wrote how I feel like crying when thinking about the next day, week, etc. But now, its escalated into panic. How the…

  Rayne

  May 20, 2017

  Borderline Personality Disorder, Trauma

  Depression, Despair, Emotional Dysregulation, Flashbacks, Inner Child, Loneliness, Memories, Music, Nightmares, Panic, The Past, Therapist

• Protected: A Long, Hard Week

  There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

  Rayne

  April 17, 2017

  Relationships

  Connection, Emotions, Exhaustion, Family, Fear, Flashbacks, Memories, Occupational Therapist, Panic, Protective, Suicidal Ideation, The Past, Therapist

• Lashing Out

  Dear Therapist I lashed out at you when you were three minutes late for our session. I know it’s not an excuse, but I wasn’t in a very good place, so those three minutes felt a lot longer. Thank you for validating that it’s a big deal for me, and for your apology. I know…

  Rayne

  February 14, 2017

  Borderline Personality Disorder

  Abandonment, Anger, Attachment, Behaviour, Black & White Thinking, BPD, Commitment, Communication, Connection, Embarrassment, Emotional Dysregulation, Emotions, Fear, Fear Of Abandonment, Insecurity, Letter, Mental Health, Panic, Relationships, The Therapeutic Relationship, Therapist, Therapy, Transference

• Never Thought I’d Be Here – Part One

  On Thursday morning I was reading something on the internet, when I started to feel uncomfortable. All of a sudden, that feeling erupted in a full on trigger. I immediately turned into a mess. I became that 14-year-old who had just been broken by someone she had looked up to and trusted. Images and emotions…

  Rayne

  February 1, 2017

  Borderline Personality Disorder

  Anxiety, BPD, Comfort, Confusion, Connection, Dissociation, Emotional Dysregulation, Emotions, Fear, Feeling Lost, Flashbacks, Fragile, Inner Child, Insecurity, Meltdown, Memories, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Overwhelmed, Panic, Psychiatric Clinic, Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Shame, Struggle, The Therapeutic Relationship, Therapist, Trauma

• Taking Responsibility For My Own Insecurites

  There are times where I find myself feeling insecure about the smallest things. Only, these things aren’t so small to me in the moment. During these times, I see them as something that threatens my very happiness, sanity and survival. For example, if someone doesn’t respond the right way to a text or email. Often…

  Rayne

  December 20, 2016

  Borderline Personality Disorder

  Behaviour, Black & White Thinking, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Emotional Dysregulation, Emotions, Fear, Fear Of Abandonment, Insecurity, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Object Constancy, Panic, Reflection, Relationships, Sensitivity, Skills, Thoughts

• Interview Panic Sets In

  I have an interview with one of my agents tomorrow (who I haven’t met in person yet). He put my resume forward for a position at a relatively large company. The company expressed interest, but I first need to have an interview with my agent tomorrow. If he thinks I’m a good candidate for the job,…

  Rayne

  November 28, 2016

  Borderline Personality Disorder

  Anxiety, Black & White Thinking, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Confusion, Depression, Despair, Fear, Feeling Stuck, Hopelessness, Insecurity, Life, Meltdown, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Overwhelmed, Panic, Work