Tired Of Being Sad And Alone

I don’t want to feel this way anymore.

I’ve been carrying this sadness alone for a while, and it’s been fine, I’ve been okay. But now I would love to have someone reach a hand out to me, and walk through this with me. I don’t want to do this alone anymore. I’m so tired.

I’ve been going through a few things, things I haven’t told anyone I’m struggling with. I feel quiet and withdrawn. I can’t seem to reach out even though I want to. And no one can see what I’m going through. I’m still good at hiding my deepest and truest feelings. I can’t seem to speak out. I can’t even write about it here. The one place I can be completely open and honest.

There are moments where the sadness is so great that even when you’re being verbally attacked, all you can do is stand there, unable to move. The words seem to float over you and disappear into nothingness. There’s no more space for anymore sadness.

That’s where I am. I’m hurting, and wish someone could see through me and hear my silent cry for love and care. Someone who will look deeply into my eyes and really notice me. But how can they, when I’m hiding.

There’s a hole inside me that I can’t fill myself no matter how hard I try.


35 responses to “Tired Of Being Sad And Alone”

  1. I follow your blog as do lots of others. You’re certainly not alone of that I can assure you. There are dark days and dark moments, but with time, there is the opposite and there is light and there is always hope. Perhaps it’s one of those weeks? I feel especially vulnerable this week myself but I’m here and I’m not going anywhere and will continue to support you by reading through your work. Stay strong

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for your comment Sylvan. I’m just grateful that I’m not in that deep dark depressed, hopeless place. The sadness is horrible, but better than being in that depressive state. I’m sorry that you’re also feeling vulnerable. Sending a hug.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry you are feeling so sad. I swear this seems to be a theme these last few days. I was feeling so lonely, alone in my pain and so sad about it on Monday. Last night I read a post from someone else I follow here on WordPress that is struggling with loneliness and feeling so alone in her life struggles and now your post came up in my Reader now.

    This sucks that so many people are struggling. It’s not fair. It’s not right.
    I remember how my sister used to berate me. Last time it happened, I was in the same mindset you wrote about here. I just let her go on and spew.

    And it was the same kind of thing, I had been feeling so much sadness about the situation that surrounded her feelings of entitlement to berate me like a child.

    I hope you find peace soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My heart is with you in all of this. I so wish I lived close to you Rayne. I know that longing for a true friend who really understands. Sadly too life can be about being alone for some of us most of the time. That is how my life is lately. I know how deep and hard it feels. But please know there is love for you in my heart even though I have never met you. I pray in time your sadness lets go just a little and you find some light and hope and joy. Love Deborah 🌷

    Liked by 2 people

  4. hi rayne. I hear you and I get it. sometimes it just feels so lonely even though you are not alone because you have a tribe of people here in wordpress who love and care about you. but sometimes it just feels insurmountable. I get that. sending many hugs to you. xo

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I think those of us in the mental health blogging community can relate 100% to what you say here. I know I can. Desperately wanting to be seen, to be known and understood but petrified of it too. And the sadness that dilemma provokes because it seems like there’s no way out that doesn’t involve pain. I wish I could give you a hug and be the one to see you xx

    Liked by 3 people

  6. I hear you and I feel for you so deeply…That gaping hole really is awful and I am so sorry you are feeling so alone…As so many others have said, if only we lived closer then we could be there for you in person. Sending you many hugs xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Feeling alone is absoluely the worst. To feel noone sees what is deeper inside that they should be able to see just looking in your eyes makes for loneliness. Ive been in this space too for weeks now and frustration has really set in for hy i cant fix this!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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