I had coffee with one of my best friends on Sunday afternoon/evening. As usual I really enjoyed spending time with her. I had been depressed that day again, and even though she also wasn’t feeling so great either, she made me feel so much better about myself (the way she always does). She said some really nice things, beautiful compliments that touched me deeply.
On my way home, which is about a 45 minute drive, I started thinking…
No matter how bad I’m feeling, spending time with my closest friends always picks me up… It’s like an soul boost. I don’t have many friends in the real world, but those I have are extremely special to me. I’m grateful that they’ve stood by me through the years, and given me the gift of themselves.
So, what about getting a box, decorating it nicely, and filling it with things that will give me that soul boost when I’m alone? When I feel like just giving up on life. When I feel like a monster, the worst person in existence. I’ll get a small journal type book and write down all the positive things people say to me. Maybe I’ll sometimes even get them to write a little something themselves if they’re up for it. I’ll also write about those moments where I see someone doing a random act of kindness. To remind me that the world is a beautiful place. That there are still good people, and they’re all around us. I’m also going to add little cards or things I find with encouraging quotes, and photos that mean a lot to me, memories I want to hold onto. I’ve already asked my two best friends whether they would each write me a little note that I can put in this box, separate from the book. They were both very enthusiastic about it. One of my friend’s boyfriend also wanted to get in on it, which I found very sweet. He’s fast becoming a very good friend too. An all around great person. I’ve got some notes/letters from my therapist that I’m also going to add, as well as a letter I’ll be writing to myself (I got this idea from a fellow blogger).
During my intense ‘crisis’ moments, it’s often difficult to think positive. To remember the good. When I’m bombarded by negativity and darkness, it seems to block out all the light.
When I feel like no one cares, or that everyone will be better off without me, I’m going to open up that box, and go through everything. Fill my mind with all the good instead. It will force my brain to focus on something external, when it can’t do it on it’s own. I’m pretty sure this ‘Box of Hope’ will give me the power to push away the intensity of the darkness.
Here are two songs that I really like, and that have helped me during some of my dark moments. The last one has helped me the most. It’s older, and I love her voice and the lyrics.
Maybe you can start your own ‘Box of Hope’.