On Accidents, Trauma, and Fighting for a Better Future

In over 15 years of driving, I’d never had an accident. Sure, I’d been in a few with other people driving. But this time I was the one behind the wheel. It was after threapy and I had just taken my car for a desperately needed wash, so was feeling pretty good. It happened soContinue reading “On Accidents, Trauma, and Fighting for a Better Future”

Healing Isn’t A One Time Thing

As my recent posts have shown, I haven’t been in a good place emotionally. My issues and demons have re-surfaced in a huge way, causing me to doubt all the healing that I thought had taken place within me over the past few years. The other evening I stumbled upon a performance (which you canContinue reading “Healing Isn’t A One Time Thing”

A Day Has No Meaning Anymore

My days feel meaningless. So does my life. No matter what I do, where I go, it’s there. The emptiness. Spending time with my regular two friends isn’t the same. Whereas before that would give me a mood boost, it does nothing for me anymore. I feel okay with them in the moment, but there’sContinue reading “A Day Has No Meaning Anymore”

“You Don’t Really Want to Die, You Want Connection”

Maybe my therapist is right. After all, why am I still here? Why am I still holding on? What exactly am I holding on for? Part of it is because I don’t have the courage to try to end things. The fear of failing and coming out alive but in a worse state terrifies me.Continue reading ““You Don’t Really Want to Die, You Want Connection””

In A Different World

Life feels strange these days. The world, a different place. It seems we’re all just trying to survive and not really living. I’ve been trying to keep a semblance of normality in my own life, but it’s not that easy when most things have changed. As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m now stayingContinue reading “In A Different World”